Have you ever got stuck in a situation in which you know what to do, you know what you want to do, but you can’t seem to do it?
Think about the life decisions that you have to forgo because you hesitated or you were afraid, or maybe let’s admit it, you were waiting ’til that push or motivation kicks in?
A motivational speaker Mel Robbins once said “Motivation is garbage, you’ll never going to feel like it.”
We are engrossed with the idea that we have to always be motivated in order for us to do something. There has to be a sign, a chug, or a boost for us to start doing. But the truth is, the more we think about being motivated, or wanting to be motivated, the less motivated we become. We believe in this falsehood that at some point in our life, we are going to have a courage to be motivated. So WE WAIT, WE IDLE, and WE HESITATE because we are so busy waiting for the right time. The truth is, you’ll never going to get anywhere until you start your first step.
This is why I came with the idea of putting meaning in the word F-O-R-G-O by creating an acronym with tips in it. By definition, forgo means letting go of enjoyment, or to go without something. My definition of forgo is to refrain, resist, and renounce the things that hold you back and just start doing something. Whether you’re on your start up, you want to join a company, you want to launch an idea, or maybe even joining America’s Next Top Model, I hope that these tips will somehow help you.
TIP # 1: Find Who You are
Typical tip as it seems, but finding who you are is one of the foundations in finding where you want to go. You will never know what you actually need in life until you figure out who you are. Ask yourself this question, who am I? Do we really know who we are in the core? Nobody knows us better than we do because we have always been with ourselves our whole life, we know who we truly are and what we feel when no one is watching. If you think you still don’t know who you are, One of the most effective ways if you’re confused as to who you are, is to write it all down. Who am I? Then write it all down continuously without stopping.
I’ve learned this in my Business Communications class that “free” writing triggers honesty and self expression. When we write continuously and without any rules, nothing will interrupt our thought process and our thoughts and ideas will just flow naturally. So take time and try it for yourself. You might be surprised how much you didn’t know about you until now.
TIP # 2: Open Ourselves to New Experience and New Role Models
It is okay to be uncomfortable, that’s how you grow. In our life, we meet people who are like us, but because of this, we are trapped inside a bubble or an echo chamber in which we are unable to magnify a better sense of who we truly want to become. If everyone is doing the same thing, how will you know what else is there to improve? Remember, you can’t be what you can’t see.
The world is full of external noises, it could be your parents’ expectations, or your peers’ comments, or even society’s standards. We should never let these noises consume us because if we allow them to, these noises will become our voice. If these noises hinder our understanding and the path we want to go, change your circle, switch association, change people you hang out with. We should never be afraid to try new experiences and we should always be in constant look for role models we could shadow, and observe. There is no harm in testing the waters. There is no harm in stepping out your comfort zone.
TIP # 3: Redefine your WHYs
This is actually inspired from the movement started by Simon Sinek, a famous motivational speaker and the author of the book Start With Your Whys. I highly recommend everyone to read this. It is important that not just as a person, but also in your organization, to ask yourself, Why do you do what you do? Why do you want to do this certain thing?
And it’s really important to take your time each day to sit down and just reflect and ask yourself, WHAT IS YOUR WHY? Life is tough, and so as the world out there. So in order for us to thrive, we must have a strong purpose, a strong set of WHYs, so that when life knocks you out, you can again stand up and continue the fight. If your WHYs and reasons for doing something won’t be big enough, then your excuses NOT to do it will be more.
TIP # 4: Gratitude is an Important Aspect in Your Life
This one is pretty straightforward and may seem easy, but people often times forget to show some gratitude in their life. When was the last time you said “Thank You” to someone and meant it? When was the last time you showed your appreciation on someone’s work and how it has made an impact? When was the last time you felt grateful that the world may turn its back against you, but still there are people who you know will always be there for you no matter what. Showing gratitude is not just being grateful to what others have done for you, but it also meant being grateful to yourself and giving yourself a credit for the hard work and perseverance you’re trying to do.
Some of the unhappiest people I’ve met are the ones who are the most ungrateful. Be grateful even on the little things that happen in your life. Be thankful even on the little things others do for you. Be grateful for the people who have hurt you because they have contributed in making you a stronger person now than before. Appreciate rejection because that rejection is not the end, but a tool for you to keep on trying. I may sound like a spiritual leader here but turn the negative into positive. We hold the power whether to frown or be grateful on something.
There is a Gratitude Meditation that you can actually try and follow if you want to practice gratitude in your life. The blog of The Positive Psychology is a great blog you could follow if you want to start on the journey.
TIP # 5: One Step at a Time
Few years back when I started my first job, I worked in a hotel and like everyone else, when you’re new to the job, you are pressured to finish the task so you can move forward to the next.
An advice from my co-worker which I’ll never forget is that “When you do things in a rush, you are prone to making mistakes. And you’ll never really get things done properly.”
Back then, it didn’t make sense to me and I ignored it. But few years later, it’s when it hit me. I had a small epiphany and “aha” moment in which I realized that maybe that’s why I fell into this one big mess is because I was doing things all at the same time without even thinking about it properly. I was so focused on reaching my end goal.
I think in our life, it is important that sometimes, we take things slow. Don’t rush in reaching something because you will eventually get there. Go in a pace that you’re comfortable with. Fall in love with the process. Take in all the learnings you get along the way. Stop running and start walking. Look around you, and appreciate the clear blue skies, and how beautiful those flowers bloom. Don’t rush, and do things one step at a time.
F – Find Who You Are
O – Open Ourselves to New Experiences and New Role Models
R- Redefine Your Whys
G- Gratitude is an Important Aspect in Your Life
O– One Step at a Time